The Happy-go-lucky?

oh my... oh my... oh my...
i have become like someone you hate?
econs extra lessons tdy.. woke up real late at like 12+? but still reached there be4 mr loh did.. it was a relatively useful lesson and lucky me didnt get called by him! maybe because i was wearing my 'disguise' and he cant really rmb my name w/o the disguise anyway.. well cant blame him he doesnt let me talk in his lessons except answer questions! and i guess i did well again today, i smiled. haha
what was i saying? im so stupid..
but ah i've always been like this have i? ppl see me as somewhat a cheerful happy-go-lucky person.. and thats how i portray myself and think that im that way too.. today was somewhat a struggle to maintain what i was.. maybe just maybe deep inside me, where even i cant reach, is a very lonely wolf. the lone wolf, emotionless, so powerful yet useless alone. and has it been unleashed within me? i dont know. I wanna be the happy-go-lucky me not act as it..
can it go back to normal? please do
still there was always some truth that i only show the happy side of me.. seldom do i voice out openly to all unhappiness of people or things.. usually i keep them in me or tell them to someone if theres someone to tell to.. or these few months.. a lil glimpse of those are being posted here..
it just flowed continuously, i couldnt stop it, my pillow was drenched
but aww well.. emo i shall be no more! or at least emo no one will see no more! im walking back in time without no time machine.. i'll only see and hear the good things on my way! 1.11am haha cool =)